Metal Gear Blob
by Legendary Writer
Summary: A 89 year old Solid Snake goes against his Liquid Snake's Grandson Gassy Snake. Parody with a mix of Action...Meant to be weird.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Metal Gear or Metal Gear Solid properties or characters. However I am a fan**

**A/N: This is a parody...treat it as such, some of this has action. But mostly a parody, my other fan fiction I will incorporate parts to make it easier for people to read.**

**Chapter 1**

11:45 AM-

A 89 year old man screamed for his share of Tapioca pudding, he sat in his fox hound styled recliner. Solid Snake awaited the tapioca pudding to reach his wrinkly and decrepit hands. He was past his time of codex and Meryl. His time was the nursing home.His time was predicated on the little cup of pudding.

"Hey...you...uh...hand me the pudding or I will break your neck!" Solid Snake groined and drooled.

The Nursing home worker looked at Solid snake and laughed. He gave Solid snakes share to himself and ate it in front of him. Solid Snake has seen the trouble the man posed to him and he tried to get out of his recliner. Solid Snake's walker stood 2 feet away from him. The man laughed his deepest laugh.

"Come here and try to break my freaking neck...you gray ass" The man bellowed.

Not long after Solid Grabbed his walker and started to slowly approach the Nursing home worker.

_Clink_

"Hey...That was my share of Tapioca...I'm going to beat you up!" Solid screamed.

_Clink_

The Nursing home worker awaited for Solid to get close so he could kick the walker from Snakes grasp and send him barreling to the ground like a slab of meat. He yawned as Snake approached.

_Clink_

_Clink_

2:49 PM-

The Nursing Home worker still awaited Snake to become in the correct range for fisticuffs. Snake was on his way and continued until he started to get tired of all of the walking. The Nursing home worker laughed at Sanke's sudden halt from his threats. home worker escorted Snake to bed.

"Okay you all...time for Bed " The Nursing home worker said.

The Nursing Home Worker escorted Snake and the rest of the elderly to bed. Snake coughed and wheezed all the way to his room.

The room was a little then what he was custom to. All his war time memorbilia was surrounding his room which gave it the illusion of a cramped room. He walked to his bed.

_Clink_

As Snake sat down to turn in for the day he heard his bones crack, his memories of the old days of fox hound, Fox-Die, and other things. He missed those days and all he could show for his efforts was a stay in a blasted Nursing home with no tapioca to call his own. He took the covers from the bed, eased himself into them with a few bones cracking and creaking, and fell asleep for that day.

**2**

Somewhere in artica at a Mechanical Station plans for the newest form of metal gear was being developed, the name of the new metal Gear is..._Metal Gear Raptor. _The two men currently at the site is Lt. Carmelo Hershey leader of the Patriots and Gassy Snake...the Grandson of the infamous Liquid Snake. Gassy Snake looked at Lt. Carmelo Hersey and screamed at him.

"I don't like it...do it again or I will tell my Granddaddy on you" Gassy Snake said as he had a family size bag of fun-yuns in his fat pork like fingers.

"But Sir, this form of Metal gear will outlast the conventional models we were using" Carmelo stated trying not to sound like a dumbass.

"How's that...?" Gassy snake said as he finished his bag and turned away from Carmelo to pick his underwear from his butt.

"I uh...Don't know...but I'm sure it will...Excuse me" Carmelo said as he went into one of the offices and retrieved the plans.

Gassy Snake stared at the Metal Gear and hated the sleek design and the raptor like legs. To the average person the metal gear would have been an effective tool for army or police actions. Carmelo came back and forwards the plans to Gassy. Gassy Snake looks at the plans, then proceeded to eat the plans.

"This is no good...Do it again!" Gassy Snake screamed and then burped.

**3**

7:21 PM-

Solid Snake awoke which a weird feeling coming over him. He looked around for a bucket because he might need to throw up. Something was bothering him. He felt that same instant as he saw Meryl get shot by the look out tower. He located a wastebasket and he was about to throw up when he farted. After that he still couldn't sleep...he knew something was wrong...

**A/N (Cont):** Again, this is not suppose to be serious...this is suppose to be weird and a little "out-there" If you like parodies Please Read and Review.


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